In my decades as a beauty writer, I’ve tested out the oddest of trendy treatments: I’ve been slathered in bird droppings, prodded with electricity and pierced with teeny-tiny needles more times than I can count.

But no one has suggested that I subject my breasts to this kind of rigorous experimentation — until now.

Sia’s Beauty on Grand Street introduced a “breast facial” ($180) in September, which treats the chest area and promises to increase perkiness and create more supple skin. The boutique spot is so revered by the beauty world — with a rumored client list that includes high-powered executives and top models — that I thought it would be worth overcoming my modesty and checking it out.

“In China, we do this all the time,” Karen Hong, owner of Sia’s Beauty, assured me when I arrived for my appointment. “It’s very good for circulation and helping the lymphatic system to drain toxins.”

We’ll see about that, I thought.

As I disrobed, I felt quite a bit less enthused than if I knew I was there for a regular facial or a relaxing back massage. I told myself it wouldn’t be much weirder than getting a mammogram; then again, that’s a pretty low bar for a day at the spa.

The treatment kicked off with a grainy exfoliating scrub and the kind of vigorous kneading that a teenage boy might attempt. Not promising!

But soon, I was coaxed out of shock by a fragrant blend of essential oils, and a series of rhythmic strokes intended to encourage my breasts to point “up.”

I almost felt relaxed when Hong — my esthetician for the day — approached me with a wand full of electrically charged needles. Was this a joke? She assured me that they wouldn’t hurt and would help my skin absorb the vitamin-packed serum she intended to apply afterward.

Sure enough, the sensation from the needles was more tingly than painful, and the green algae and spirulina mask she painted across my chest — sparing the nipples for an especially bizarre-looking touch — felt great. The scent instantly brought me back to summer beach vacations.

After the goop was sponged off, I took a peek. And, I have to admit, the twins looked particularly perky — glowing, even.

Hong says her breast facial is a hit with her clients, and after getting one myself, I can see why. My skin looked exceptionally smooth for days following the treatment.

Apparently it’s not just a New York phenomenon either: LA-based facialist Candace Marino reports that boob-centric treatments are big on the West Coast, too.

“I have celebrities that love the breast facials; they come in and rip off their shirts,” says Marino.

She adds that self-conscious first-timers shouldn’t worry. “It’s kind of like with a Brazilian wax — the first time you get it is weird but then you get used to it.”





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November 11, 2019 — Candace Marino